MARSFEVER
Now enrolling

MARSFEVER / MARS HOA

OLYMPUS MONS ESTATES · A PLANNED COMMUNITY ON MARS

Enroll a friend in a
homeowners association on Mars.

For $1 a month, your friend becomes the registered occupant of a plot in Olympus Mons Estates. They get a deed. Then the letters start — violation notices, dues statements, newsletters, ballots — and they do not stop until you stop paying. The perfect gift for someone who deserves both a present and a consequence.

Enrollment desk$1/MO · CANCEL ANYTIME

Plot assigned at checkout · first letters within the hour · they can reply STOP anytime

01

The correspondence

What the association sends

A welcome deed immediately, then a rotating letter every couple of weeks. Written by hand, delivered by email, enforced by nobody.

ON ARRIVAL

The deed

Official notice of enrollment with their assigned address — Unit 114, Cydonia Court; Olympus Mons Overlook; Valles Marineris Way. Lot condition: regolith, unimproved, magnificent.

WEEK 2-ISH

The violations

"Untidy regolith." "Failure to erect a fence." Required action: none possible. The dust is planetary. Fine for non-compliance: a sterner letter.

MONTHLY-ISH

The Crater Courier

Community news. The potluck was cancelled again (the atmosphere is 95% CO₂; attendance tied last year's record of zero). A dust devil toured the neighborhood without a permit.

ELECTION SEASON

The ballot

Two candidates for the Board, both named Greg. Abstentions count as votes for Greg. Results certified by Greg (the other one).

02

Exhibit A

An actual violation notice

OLYMPUS MONS ESTATES HOA · NOTICE OF VIOLATION · FIRST REQUEST

Re: Untidy regolith — Unit 114, Cydonia Court

Dear Derek, during a routine drive-by (the rover drives by everything), the Architectural Committee observed that the regolith at Unit 114, Cydonia Court is untidy. Dust has been observed settling on the property in a manner inconsistent with community standards.

Required action: none possible. The dust is planetary.
Deadline: 30 sols.
Fine for non-compliance: a sterner letter.

This notice will remain on your permanent record, which is a text file.

— THE ARCHITECTURAL COMMITTEE, OLYMPUS MONS ESTATES

Want the full rulebook? Read the Covenants, Conditions & Restrictions — all 14 articles, including the fence you are required to consider and the pool that is both frozen and nonexistent.

03

Reasonable questions

Frequently asked, officially answered

Is this a real HOA?
No. It's a novelty gift. There's no real property, no real association, and no real Greg. Your friend receives comedic HOA letters by email. Nothing is legally binding — which is more than most HOAs can say.
What does my friend actually receive?
A welcome letter with their deed and assigned plot address, then an ongoing rotation of HOA correspondence every couple of weeks: violation notices, community newsletters, dues statements ("your balance is $0.00 — we just wanted to talk"), architectural review denials, and election ballots.
How much? How do I cancel?
$1/month, billed to you through Stripe. Cancel anytime from your Stripe receipt email and the letters stop. Your friend can also resign from the association anytime by replying STOP to any letter.
Is this okay to send to anyone?
Send it to friends who will laugh. Every letter identifies itself as a novelty gift in the footer, and the opt-out works — nobody's trapped, they just feel gently pursued by a fictional bureaucracy.
Why is it only $1?
Because the joke works best when the dues are real but absurd. You are genuinely paying dues to a fictional HOA. That's the gift.